The Clan of the Pink Elephants


“In Mormon culture, authority is respected, obedience is revered, and independent thinking is not.” -Terry Tempest Williams, The Clan of One-breasted Women

Once upon a time, a clan of pink elephants thrived north of the vast Mojavian lands. These friendly creatures, being the devout Mormons they were, strictly kept the teachings of Jesus Christ. Between their mud-bath bible studies and community missions work, the pink elephants were an isolated, passive breed.

Alas, I’m sorry to say these are the only uplifting parts of their lives you’ll hear today. It all started with the newcomers: the mice clan. These peculiar creatures- red-eyed, blue-furred, and white-tailed- immediately seized control. They established a council of mice who wrote, enforced, and judged the newly created laws. The pink elephants were terrified, so they held an emergency service:
“Everyone, stay calm, God has told us to be ever obedient, so we must follow the rules of the mice,” One said.
“We must accept them into our homes, this is the way of Jesus,” another agreed.
“Also, their constitution allows us to freely practice our religion and rhetoric!” a third exclaimed.
“Besides, they are so tiny and scary, they’ll bite us! How painful it will be!” another reasoned.
So the pink elephants, ever faithful, endured the discomfort of the mice laws. They had to carefully watch their steps for the tiny homes of the mice, not trumpeting for it blows the mice homes away, and work as laborers. The elephants had to constantly look down at their feet for it was so easy to accidentally kill a mouse if they stepped on one; the penalty for killing a mouse was exile.

The numbers of the clan became thinner day by day. Not only were they overworked, an incurable mystery disease appeared among the pink elephants. The Mice Health Organization declared the cause of the disease inconclusive and unrelated to the pestilence of the mice. Many desperately amputated their infected limbs, but to no fruition- the disease just relapsed. However, despite the rough times, the elephants remained firmly rooted in their faith. They told their loved ones, “it is one of the most spiritual experiences you will ever encounter,” as they lay on the death bed (928).

The clan of the pink elephants whittled down until the last elephant collapsed in the line of duty onto a mouse mall, killing hundreds of mice. This is the tragic story of the clan of the pink elephants. The innocent, mammoth creatures perished in the hands of the little mice; there was nothing they could do.

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