The Clan of the Pink Elephants
“In Mormon culture, authority is respected, obedience is
revered, and independent thinking is not.” -Terry Tempest Williams, The Clan of One-breasted Women
Once upon a time, a clan of pink elephants thrived north of
the vast Mojavian lands. These friendly creatures, being the devout Mormons
they were, strictly kept the teachings of Jesus Christ. Between their mud-bath
bible studies and community missions work, the pink elephants were an isolated,
passive breed.
Alas, I’m sorry to say these are the only uplifting parts of
their lives you’ll hear today. It all started with the newcomers: the mice
clan. These peculiar creatures- red-eyed, blue-furred, and white-tailed- immediately
seized control. They established a council of mice who wrote, enforced, and
judged the newly created laws. The pink elephants were terrified, so they held
an emergency service:
“Everyone, stay calm, God has told
us to be ever obedient, so we must follow the rules of the mice,” One said.
“We must accept them into our
homes, this is the way of Jesus,” another agreed.
“Also, their constitution allows us
to freely practice our religion and rhetoric!” a third exclaimed.
“Besides, they are so tiny and
scary, they’ll bite us! How painful it will be!” another reasoned.
So the pink elephants, ever faithful, endured the discomfort
of the mice laws. They had to carefully watch their steps for the tiny homes of
the mice, not trumpeting for it blows the mice homes away, and work as laborers.
The elephants had to constantly look down at their feet for it was so easy to accidentally
kill a mouse if they stepped on one; the penalty for killing a mouse was exile.
The numbers of the clan became thinner day by day. Not only
were they overworked, an incurable mystery disease appeared among the pink elephants.
The Mice Health Organization declared the cause of the disease inconclusive and
unrelated to the pestilence of the mice. Many desperately amputated their
infected limbs, but to no fruition- the disease just relapsed. However, despite
the rough times, the elephants remained firmly rooted in their faith. They told
their loved ones, “it is one of the most spiritual experiences you will ever
encounter,” as they lay on the death bed (928).
The clan of the pink elephants whittled down until the last
elephant collapsed in the line of duty onto a mouse mall, killing hundreds of mice.
This is the tragic story of the clan of the pink elephants. The innocent,
mammoth creatures perished in the hands of the little mice; there was nothing
they could do.

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